Yesterday, after talked to two old apostles and thanked them for their care towards me in my past I took some rest and had a dream.
A time of silence
In the dream, I am brought to a meeting with brother S. S. , and brother D. A., who is a close associate of his and also is widely recognized as an apostle.
Sitting together in silence, I sense they are expecting me to “complain” or “explain” certain things. Yet I have come a place that certain kind of conversation is not a choice for me anymore, so I remain quiet. Confident that they know the cause and have the solution for my “problem”, so they determine do nothing but to wait for me to first speak.
The situation becomes very awkward. Certainly this is not the proper occasion or the proper context for me to share anything personal.
“If equality and honor are not in their heart, it would be futile to seek agreement between us.”
I think to myself. So I begin to talk to the Lord:
“Lord, if You have anything need them be aware of, You have to do it. I ask to be released from this.”
“Why not share with A. a parable?”
“But I do not have a parable.”
“Just ask him (Brother D. A.) when would a person get out of a huge forest?”
Parable of a young man in a forest
Suddenly I am in a vision. Looking down from a high place, I see below is a massive forest in a circular shape. In an instant I am transferred to its very center. Then I see a young man about 30 years of age is also suddenly “thrown” in from outside .
It seems that he knows that he has to get out the forest in order to live. Yet the shape of the huge forest offers him no shortcut. He would have to walk miles after miles before he could make his way out through the giant cedars. Aware of the impossible situation, the young man becomes very much distressed and confused. He kneels to ground and begins to pray, not knowing which direction to take. I become very concerned of the young man, but also puzzled, for I do not know which way he should choose either.
Then I suddenly am out of the vision.
A time of awareness
Bearing the urgency of the matter-the young man evidently is pining away, I turn to brother D. A. and ask him what direction the young man should take.
Upon hearing the situation and the question, he and Brother S. S. are now greatly agitated and puzzled. They certainly have not expected me of this. Aware of the weightiness of the situation, they begin to quietly ponder on it. They are wise enough not to give an quick answer.
Rising from a chair in the back, Brother S. S. begins to walk in circles around brother D. A., who is standing just a few steps away from me. While meditating on the question and looking at each other in the eyes time to time, the two come to realize that they won’t be able to figure this one out. At the same time, waiting in a chair in the middle of the room, I try my best to find the solution myself, only to no avail.
The situation becomes tense. They begin to become more and more embrassed with the fact that the young man’s situation is totally out of their control and that they have carried with them a wrong expectation of how things would be. Finally they walk up and look at me, expecting me to offer them the answer. I am at lost again as I don’ t have the answer either.
Then I hear the Lord.
“Tell them the answer: when he (brother D. A.) started to walk out of the place where he is.”
Suddenly I am back to the vision again.
Vision of the young man continues
I see the young man now rises up from his state of distress. He looks around for a moment. Then he decides to walk at a direction as if just a random choice. But he knows in his heart that he will make it.
He sets his face like a flint and begins to cut through the forest. As if from nowhere, a man suddenly comes along side of him and begins to open the way in between the trees for him.
It is the Lord Himself. He would point his hand ahead and the trees will give way.
In a flash of moment, I see the young man, accompanied by our dear Lord, made it out along a straight pass across the forest. He is now on its outskirt, and then walks on a plain, heading to a city to the north-west. The city looks to be very ancient and is now in ruins.
End of our conversation
So I begin to share with the two brothers the very words the Lord gave to me. This startles them, as they begin to recognize that they had misunderstood and misrepresented the heart and the way of the Lord all along.
The Lord ever intended to be with the young man and to walk with him as a helper and a friend, even before He decided to show up into his life. He never is aloof to a life that is in great need and in pure desire of Him. He is near to the lost and broken. He seeks after the young man when he truly comes to the end of himself. Then He opens the way for him and walks side by side with him. He never would put heavy load over him, nor would he abandon him because the young man chooses to walk in righteousness.
The two also realize that in a certain sense they had left the young man alone in a time when he really needed them. And because of that, they are not allowed to have a place in the young man’s life. They also become aware that they are a bit out of place in expecting me to give them an account of my life in this particular situation.
Now I see they are a bit upset with this, becoming more and more uneasy in my presence.
The dream ends at this point.
After thoughts
I don’t feel led to share this dream with anyone till now. The Lord urged me to record this as a summary and a testimony in my own life involving with that circle of people.
The dream is not about settling scores or deciding who is right or wrong. It is really all about the young man and his life in the forest of the world. The Lord is always good and is ever faithful to those who seek Him with their whole heart.
Recently, I have been pondering on the life of David. He was given a charge by the Lord to find the ark in the forest and move it to Jerusalem. Topics like “the glory of Lebanon”, “David’s tent”, the order or pattern revealed to David in his time of distress after they failed in the first try all begin to come back to me.
Indeed, “the city is for the camp, not the camp for the city.” I believe I have a glimpse of understanding of this now: the city stands for the Kingdom, the camp is His people who camps only where He is (the Ark of His Presence).
I need to read Psm. 68 and 132 again.
(Revised on Apr. 5, 2017)
